The Texas Mythos: Everything's Bigger Edition

Texas is big, very big. Having been a country before joining the Union, Texas wasn't subdivided in any way, although it still could be (somewhat unlikely, I'd say). The land area of Texas (268,581 sq mi) exceeds that of most European countries, even France (260,558 sq mi). While these facts are interesting, the fiction is more fun.

From the postcard envelope:

Texas is so big that the people in Brownsville call the Dalla people 'Damyankees.' It is farther from El Paso to Texarkana that it is from Chicago to New York, and Texarkana is closer to Milwaukee by airline than it is to El Paso. The United States with Texas left out would look like a three-legged Boston Terrier.

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The chief occupation of the people of Texas is try to keep from making all the money in the world, and at that the wealth of Texasincreased 539% between 1900 and 1927.

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Down on the King Ranch the front gate is 150 miles from the front porch and the owner is thinking of moving the house back so as not to be annoyed by paaaing automobiles.

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If all the Texas steers were one STEER, he could stand with his front feet in the Gulf of Mexico and his hind feet in Hudson bay, and with his horns punch holes in the moon, and with his tail brush the mists of the Aurora Borealis.

Amen.